A Scavenging Werewolf Boy on Europa
Posted on July 8, 2013
I know. I didn’t have a new blog post for July 4th. The only thing more wrong with that is nobody noticed. What were you all doing? I could have been left for dead, bleeding fabulously on a sidewalk somewhere and the only person who’d pass me for miles would be so intent on reading the latest Patricia Logan novel and circling the typos that they’d never even notice little ol’ joyful me. I even had to give the staff a day off because it was a holiday or some such thing. Honestly, the Brits don’t celebrate it, so is it really such a big deal? And the staff actually wanted it paid! I’m starting to understand how my previous employer felt. So enough about all that. The hubby came home last Tuesday from his 2 weeks with his grandmother and it was time to get down to booty! Business. I meant business.
Naa. I kinda meant booty.
Ever been jet-lagged? There are people I know who complain about a little 3 hour flight and how awful it is. 3 hours. 3. Seriously? Try 22 hours from liftoff, through Tokyo, before finally landing in Hong Kong or the reverse. Now that’s some jet lag. And Ralph was jet-lagged. Fortunately, he’s very, very cute and adorable when he’s jet-lagged. Why? Because that’s when he’s at his most docile. His needs during this time are simple; bring him tea, feed him cannolis, make sure there’s something with vegetables for him to eat at lunch and dinner so he feels he’s eating healthy, and let him sleep whenever he wants for as long as he wants.
Hubs was ecstatic about the progress on the house and we spent the better part of every day there clearing out rooms, setting up two of the bedrooms, discussing what furniture we still needed/wanted, then plans for future improvements. He also learned that taking a mattress, box spring and bed frame downstairs isn’t as easy as his favorite saying, “Make it so.” He assumed it would be easy and when I attempted to explain how I’d already done it three times and how we’d need to do it again, he initiated his Selective Hearing program and tuned me out. Yes, he stopped listening right up until he couldn’t figure out how to get everything downstairs, then he had the audacity to look at me as if it was my fault. It’s always the gweilo’s fault.
I’ve sometimes wondered what would happen in a scientific experiment if they somehow split him into his two ethnicities; white and Chinese. I suspect I’d spend much of my time defending his white side while secretly still getting it up the bum by his Chinese side. Okay, I sense more work on my end, so, really, it would be a senseless and stupid experiment, wouldn’t it?
And when we weren’t working, we had a few meals out. He felt the need to take a picture of me after some strawberry pancakes were delivered to our table. I’m going to tell you right now that half of that went home with us for breakfast the next morning. There’s no way I could eat all that.
We also watched a couple of movies. Or rather I watched a couple of movies while he stretched out on the couch and attempted to stay awake long enough to watch them. I even let him pick the first two out. Naturally, they were sci-fi. The first was Europa Report. It’s a low-budgeter about a manned craft sent out to Europa to investigate potential life on the planet under the ice. It’s also one of those ‘found footage’ movies and it made Apollo 18 look like 2001. And the flitting around from one time frame to another will leave your head spinning. The one and only strong point working in its favor is the cast, which features Daniel Wu and some other male and female actors. I’m sure they had names, but who cares? It had Daniel Wu! Sadly, he’s married and his wife just had their first child a year ago. I’d totally have been willing to have his child. The only thing more troubling than admitting that to you is when I said it out loud in the husband’s presence.
“That’s it. No more movies with Asian men in them for you this weekend!”
Next up was Scavengers. The best part of it was actor Jeremy London, who’s a complete joy to watch in the film because he plays a brilliantly snarky character. Sadly, the film itself is a complete and total mess. The effects are worse than your typical Made-For-SyFi brand of excrement and the story is all over the place. It looks like there were some good ideas and the cast seemed to be having a ball, only we weren’t. My hubby fell asleep 15 minutes in and I started ordering things on Amazon that I had to later go back and cancel shipments for.
My last film of the weekend was a little Korean gem I came across (this was a tough one to find) called The Werewolf Boy. No, it’s not a horror movie. It’s essentially about a woman who returns to a house she spent some time in and met a young man who’d been raised with wolves by the previous home’s owner. Is the teen human or something else? Is he falling in love with the girl or not? No, it’s not Twilight and doesn’t pretend to be. I really liked this one and the end is quite touching. This is the only one I’d recommend out of the three I watched. The only thing that could have made The Werewolf Boy better is if Daniel Wu had been in it!
I got away with watching that last one because Ralph had already fallen asleep and didn’t know I was watching something with an Asian man in it. heh heh heh Gweilos are sneaky sometimes.
So how about you? Anybody do anything fun and exciting over the holiday weekend? Besides not think of me?
Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the recently re-published novella Falling Awake, its sequel, Falling Awake II: Revenant and Falling Awake III: Requiem.
15 Responses to “A Scavenging Werewolf Boy on Europa”
July 8, 2013 at 8:34 am
Spawn and I went to see Despicable Me 2. My favorite part was the end with the Village People minions. Then, I twisted my ankle and spent the weekend watching fabulous tennis while pretending the ankle didn’t hurt.
July 8, 2013 at 8:58 am
Okay, OUCH. How in the world did you twist your ankle? And I’m assuming your own staff catered to you while you were watching tennis?
July 8, 2013 at 10:09 am
I stepped in a hole while pushing the lawn mower. Yes, I really do need a riding one, but can’t afford it at the moment. And, no, my staff did not cater to me. My staff is a cat named Q and a teenager. So, they’re aren’t real big on catering to anyone. lol
July 8, 2013 at 10:22 am
You have a teenager and you were performing lawn maintenance? Things have changed since I was a teen…one or two years ago. 😛
July 8, 2013 at 10:30 am
🙂 Oh, he did his share, but he balks at cutting the hill. Not sure if it’s bees he’s afraid of or if he’s just lazy. But I haven’t been stung yet this year, so I think the bees are out.
July 8, 2013 at 8:51 am
Wow no movie just packing a kid away for college
July 8, 2013 at 8:58 am
Your little boy is growing up! Pretty soon they’ll be calling you granny Mo-Mo.
Patricia Logan says:
July 8, 2013 at 9:38 am
The kidlet and the grandkidlet came over on Saturday, reminding me once again just how old I am. Finished book 5 on Friday and sent it off to my editor. Now I get to stalk my inbox for edits. You’ll get a copy if I have time once edits are done. You get to read about Gage’s demise 😛
July 8, 2013 at 10:23 am
Gage’s demise? I expect nothing less than world domination for him.
Petra Bond says:
July 9, 2013 at 12:21 pm
Gage’s demise is EPIC!
JP Adkins says:
July 8, 2013 at 1:32 pm
I got the memo that there was going to be no blog post and wished you a beautiful day off. Not like that Logan broad who I insisted work to finish on the holiday. DEADLINES!!! Other than whipping the red headed hussy into shape, I worked the EDJ. *Singing* Swing low, sweet chariot….
July 8, 2013 at 2:38 pm
I hope you charged her EXTRA for it being a holiday. I’ve shopped with her before. The woman is cheap. She only bought cheese or boxed wine that was on sale. And my staff calls me thrifty. They have no idea.
Patricia Logan says:
July 8, 2013 at 3:42 pm
“commin for to carry me hooooome”… He pretends to be a top and then sings Negro Spirituals to try to ‘swing’ his audience…, he’s as messed up as you are but you guys are so east coast… let me get my west coast in here and up in the game… you are not gonna be happy
Petra Bond says:
July 9, 2013 at 12:23 pm
You are all singing the English Rugby anthem. And I am pleased that your allegiance is moving away from that ridiculous “hand egg” game you ‘murican’s insist on and enjoying a sport with proper eye candy!!
Don Zomberg says:
July 10, 2013 at 11:30 am
Saw Lone Ranger. It sucked. No more letting my dad pick movies.