Growing Old The AbFab Way, Sweetie Darling

Posted on July 26, 2012

When the few subtle signs the universe sends you about aging are dutifully ignored, it’ll often reach out in ways that can’t quite be anticipated. The first subtle sign I received was in the form of kidney stones in my early 30s. “Here’s some pain,” the universe whispered and gave me a little wink. I merely adjusted my diet and Ignored the aging bit. “Here are a few gray hairs,” it spoke up a little louder. I started getting highlights. Aging ignored. “Look, you little git, try ignoring some age lines!” The universe was clearly annoyed. So was I. Hellooooo, Botox! “You f***er! Oh, it’s on!” And with that, the universe set out to look for less subtle ways of telling me I’m getting older.

Now, I’m a bit of a movie buff. I don’t watch nearly as many as I used to and, truth be told, most of the films that come out today don’t really interest me. The majority of them feature plots recycled from films I do like, which are recycled from films my parents grew up with and liked and so on and so forth. There’s very little ingenuity anymore. Anyway, I sat down to watch Rocky Balboa when it was released on DVD and totally got sucked into the whole aging thing.

I mean…it was ridiculous how much I was empathizing with the Rocky character. He boxed…I tonsil boxed. He lost the love of his life…the hubby’s Hong Kong Grandmother is still alive and threatening mine. He wanted one more victory to prove himself to himself…I want to write twenty more books so I can finally make enough in royalties to cover my cell phone bill, which I would consider proving myself to myself. See? We have SO much in common that I’ve got chills running up my arms even now! Shame on the sneaky ass little universe resorting to that tactic…

Then, two days ago, I watched the third and final new episode of Absolutely Fabulous for 2012. At least that’s how it was originally billed. Now they’re saying–as they’ve said before, though–that it’s the last episode period. I cried foul! It can’t be the last episode…and then I watched it.

Now, here’s the thing. These are the 20th anniversary episodes. It doesn’t seem possible that they’ve been around quite so long, yet it feels like many of us have known them for much of our lives. One might think that aging shouldn’t be an issue for them, that they really shouldn’t be aging at all, but one would be wrong. I was wrong. And when Edina wants to go out to a hot club and party only to have Patsy suggest going somewhere quieter and having a nice drink, I started to understand that even these two have been getting little hints from the universe. Eddie’s fighting it and Patsy is embracing it.

Saffy informs her mother that aging isn’t a bad thing. Some doors close, but new doors open. It’s scary and while Eddie is scared, so am I. Does it mean we can’t be fabulous anymore? Is it about how we fear other people see us or how we feel we see ourselves? I’ve got no problem seeing myself as someone who thinks younger than he is. My problem is how other people look at me and assume “Oh, not twenty. Therefore old.” Hmm, here’s a thought. Buggar off!

I’ve come to this conclusion, though; age is simply experience with a few annoying physical changes. Were they to continue with additional episodes, I think it would be delightful to see Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley explore more of this sort of thing through their characters. We may have fewer days ahead of us than behind us, only when it comes to death, there will always be that one nagging question; “Is it art?”

Cheers, sweetie!

Kris

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Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the recently re-published novella Falling Awake, its sequel, Falling Awake II: Revenant and Falling Awake III: Requiem.

5 Responses to “Growing Old The AbFab Way, Sweetie Darling”

Dorien says:
July 26, 2012 at 7:37 am
Two minds, one wavelength. Well put, as always, sir. Though please remember that we are separated by more years than I care to think about. You’re walking a stretch of road I’ve already covered, and I suggest you continue to enjoy and savor every step of the journey.

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Kiernan Kelly says:
July 26, 2012 at 8:26 pm
First, did you know my husband’s ringtone is the theme song from Meatballs? Truth.

Second, age is only a number, and as we all know, numbers are imaginary, just like the ones on my bathroom scale. Don’t mean a thing. Old? I’m not old. I’ve just been young longer than most other people.

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Kris says:
July 28, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Where did he get a Rick Dees ringtone? lol

And I don’t even own a scale. Talked about getting one and the hubs was in one of his “Why would you spend money on one of those? moods. Just never bothered.

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Jeff says:
July 29, 2012 at 12:34 pm
If I were to believe in scales, which I don’t, I would believe that I gained almost 20 pounds in two months. There was a time when I thought that age was important. As I continue to come into contact with people, I realize that it is about your mind, not the time you have been on this earth.

My partner and my mother are 7 months apart in physical age. My mother is more like an 85 year old woman and my partner is closer to 35. Call it the gay man’s “peter pan” syndrome, or my mother’s many illnesses but you would never guess them at the same age.

All this to say, we never know how many days we have left on this world. Stop wasting the moments that are left thinking about how much time there is left.

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Jeff says:
July 29, 2012 at 12:36 pm
Don’t you have a book to finish? *lol*