Those Emotional Moments With Your Half Vulcan Husband

Posted on January 17, 2013

Ralph isn’t entirely convinced emotions are a worthy facet to one’s personality. They irk him. Well, mine irk him. And it may be because I have a plethora of them going on…typically all at the same time at any given moment…which then change without notice. I can’t help it. In that, I am most definitely my mother’s son. Fortunately, my husband’s father has come to my defense from time to time, stared at his son, shaken his head and muttered “Son, you’re not human.” It’s true. He’s half human much like a famous half-Vulcan science officer on a starship that’s very close to my heart…an organ in my genetic make-up that also irks my husband from time to time, too.

It takes a lot to locate and then tug on the Ralph’s heartstrings. Cold medication sometimes elicits an emotional response. The number of times he sees Best Buy show up on our credit card bill definitely elicits a response, just not one I’d prefer. He once shed a tear watching Nottinghill because something in it reminded him of me…in a good way. He just prefers to keep emotions to himself and I think that comes in part due to his cultural background and part from his human father. Dad is retired air force and is very “here’s the task, let’s get it done and if there’s collateral damage, we’ll mourn it later in private once we’re done.”

My father-in-law has been a bit more emotional lately. Who wouldn’t considering his circumstances? I’m already a hot mess, so I can just imagine how I’d be if things started going medically wrong with me, too. He’s keeping his emotional leakage contained to his two sons for the moment, but I’ve seen the cracks and I’m all for respecting them. Ralph, his brother and I spent 5 hours (me a little less since I left to take my dad for a walk and short ride before returning) waiting in the surgical waiting room Tuesday hoping that this latest visit would provide favorable results. We can only fix one thing at a time and this was the first step.

I kept looking over at my husband and saw the worry in his eyes, which were a bit glossy. There were moments when I’d try to say something meaningful to him, only he’d look at me, I’d stop talking and he’d say “You look like you’re going to cry. Don’t.” Because it would get him started. He doesn’t even like public displays of affection, so public displays of emotion aren’t going to rank high on his list either. He does feel, though. He feels deeply. Just don’t ask him to admit it or you’ll get bitch slapped with a sarcastic response.

All I can do while watching my half Vulcan husband try to keep his demeanor is continue to make sure he eats or has food available, otherwise he’ll go down to one small meal a day and he’s already too thin. I can make sure laundry is done, that I pick up the mail and check in at father-in-law’s home to ensure nothing is amiss, e-mail a couple of his friends to update them, make him hot chocolate, bring him coffee (double cream, double sugar) and, finally, take care of the little things so they don’t pile up on him. I’m good with details.

But this is part of how we function together. If it was my parents who had these problems, he’d be doing what I’m doing…or struggling to understand why I do the things I do. “Why can’t we just leave cupboards open? We’ll be going back in there for something sooner or later. Why do we have to pick the clothes up in the bathroom? They’re soft on my feet. Why can’t I just leave things all over the floor? You can make pathways.”

Maybe it’s a good thing I’m proficient at what I do, otherwise I might put him in the hospital.

It does tickle me when I see new couples in person or online so boisterously and loudly declaring their never ending love for each other. It’s the best way in the world to start out, yet it’s sad how few of those relationships last once they get outside the gate. Shit has a way of getting real pretty quickly and if you can’t handle a few bumps, bruises and an occasional bloody nose along the way, then you never should have moved away from home.

Love is worth it. It’s worth every sad moment because the happy ones more than make up for them. You’re also never alone no matter how much you think you may be. My husband looked at me a couple of days ago and said “Thank you.” I told him “You never have to thank me.”

He smiled and went back to sipping his hot chocolate, safe in the belief that I was having one of my romantic, emotional moments…never realizing it’s because I’d just been on Best Buy’s website ordering a little ‘thank you’ for myself.

See? Love is grand, but even grander when your husband is a half Vulcan.

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Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the recently re-published novella Falling Awake, its sequel, Falling Awake II: Revenant and Falling Awake III: Requiem.

10 Responses to “Those Emotional Moments With Your Half Vulcan Husband”

Dorien says:
January 17, 2013 at 11:10 am
Another “lots think about” gem, Kris. Thanks.

Dorien

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Kris says:
January 17, 2013 at 11:40 am
I’ve been taking a cue from you lately in terms of trying to be a bit more thoughtful in my posts, sir. You always manage to and I frequently miss the mark.

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Julie L Hayes says:
January 17, 2013 at 11:26 am
Thanks for sharing, Kris. Your half Vulcan is very lucky to have you.

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Kris says:
January 17, 2013 at 11:41 am
Thank you, Julie. =) After being together this long, we’ve finally agreed to conclude that we’re lucky to have each other. It’s truly a wonderful feeling.

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JP Adkins says:
January 17, 2013 at 11:46 am
I am surprised you had to time write a blog Kris. You are loved and admired.

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Kris says:
January 17, 2013 at 3:53 pm
I’m having to force myself to sit down and do it, plus I have no idea what I’m going to write about it when I do. I figure something will eventually stick. Been feeling the love like crazy lately and I think it’s helped my father-in-law. He’s got a lot of good will on his side. =)

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Vastine Bondurant says:
January 17, 2013 at 1:15 pm
You know what? You had a good point about the young love and its going to hell once out of the shoot. A lot of the time, that is true.

Emotion is wonderful. And Ralph sure does have it, even if it’s more contained, or he wouldn’t be so in love with his more emotional other half—you.

Hugs.

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Kris says:
January 17, 2013 at 3:54 pm
I keep him young and he keeps me behaving more than I would if he weren’t around. He’s a damn fine muse, too. =)

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sue laybourn says:
January 17, 2013 at 1:21 pm
The more I read of you and Ralph, the more I know you two are meant to be together. Just restrain yourself when it comes to Best Buy, okay?

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Kris says:
January 17, 2013 at 3:56 pm
Oh, Sue. You have no idea how much I’ve been restraining myself over the past couple of weeks. lol The main thing I’ve been concentrating on is trying to predict what he’ll need during this crisis before he needs it. If I can do that, then it takes more of the pressure off of him.