Which Political Party Has A Corner on Being Acerbic?

Posted on July 21, 2011

Acerbic. I like that word. I like the way it rolls off the tongue and it’s not something you’d hear a drag queen say. It’s like a personal little word that few people ever use. I’m slightly acerbic when I’m not generally cranky or annoyed. The funny thing is that some folks have a difficult time telling what mood I’m in. I don’t always translate well to the cyber or social media world. In person? Oh, hell to the yea. One look generally says it all. But I don’t often vent. Not really. That’s what blog posts are for! I’m free to vent here. Why? Let’s face it, I’m hardly known in the literary world. Well, not yet. heh heh heh So, let me tell you about what’s really pissing me off at the moment.

Politics. I hate it. I hate it with the same passion my partner’s Hong Kong Grandmother has when she hires yet another ninja assassin squad to ice my legendary and delicately manscaped nether regions. Yes, not to worry, I’m getting over myself. Sheesh. Can’t a guy give himself a compliment once in a while? Anyway, politics tends to be made very black and white. Democrats believe this and Republicans believe that. What one likes, the other doesn’t. And yet it’s not always like that. I have absolutely wonderful friends who are near and dear to my heart and they happen to be Republicans. So what, right? It doesn’t make me like or dislike them more or less or them me.

The kicker is that even though they’re Republicans–and this is where things get sticky–they don’t have any issue with me or others who happen to be gay. This should be the norm. It should be. But there are folks who would very much like to take these two halves of the same coin, Republicans and Democrats, and turn them against each other in a very black or white way where gays are concerned.

Michelle Bachman. Here’s a perfect example. If you’re a Republican presidential candidate, they want you to sign the pledge that includes outlawing gay marriage. So, if you’re a Republican, you’re anti-gay. If you’re pro-gay, you must therefore be a Democrat. What a crock of shit. Some Republicans have sided with gay rights and I fear for when their party rebukes them for it. And even though other Republican candidates have refused to sign the pledge, they’ve been very careful to state that they are opposed to gay marriage. Let’s also be fair and say that there are Democrats who are opposed to gay marriage, too. It works both ways in both parties.

What I want to know is why it has to be one way or the other. Why does a Republican politician have to be against gay marriage and gay rights–the same rights that other people already enjoy, thank you–and Democrats are automatically set on the opposite stage? Why? What the hell did we do to piss these politicians and religious groups off? How exactly is it we threatened them with our very existence? How did little ol’ me and my friends threaten their marriages?

I don’t get it and it frustrates the living daylights out of me. It doesn’t have to be like this and yet here we are. Am I just that naïve? Am I too simplistic? Is it really about power? Other countries in the world allow gay marriage and here the US accuses other countries of not being sophisticated and worldly to fit the times. Hello? Pot? This is kettle. Meet each other.

So, that’s my bitch for the day. Please tell me somebody can explain this to me. I’m really starting to feel acerbic again…

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Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the recently re-published novella Falling Awake, its sequel, Falling Awake II: Revenant and Falling Awake III: Requiem.