A Grand, Exciting, Phenomenal and Borderline Orgasmic Writing Experiment!

Posted on December 10, 2012

The Following Blog Post Trailer Has Been Approved For All Audiences: (cue dramatic announcer’s voice) In a world full of deceit, empty spaces on the shelf where Twinkies used to be sold, juvenile sex jokes, and Publisher’s Weekly nauseating authors the world over with their naming of E.L. James as Person of the Year for Fifty Shades of Grey, two men dare defy the odds! One straight and one really, really, really super not, they reunite over a snowy and somewhat dismally overcast rainy weekend to test the strength of the bond they forged twent…a couple of years ago during college. They’re authors and while writing flows through their blood like batshit crazy does Ann Coulter’s, the universe has recently been unkind to them…for the last year, really. And they’ve had enough! The time to change the course of…the temporal length of their existence in relation to their writer’s block has come! Join the adventure as two friends sit on their asses and type away on laptops (not each others) and do what they do best; Amuse…The…World…!

Yeah, that first paragraph is how it feels for me to be alive after a weekend of writing. Kinda clever in a juvenile and funny way, wasn’t it? It’s a good feeling, though. The creative juices are flowing and that’s the beauty of this past weekend. Writers write. I’m a writer and an author, but when we have so much going on in our lives that isn’t of our making and has be dealt with regardless, it takes the energy we reserve for the writing and directs it to where we need it until such time as the crisis or drama passes.

Unfortunately, everything that’s going on with my father combined with all the little things that crop up has severely overwhelmed me these past two years and especially this year. I was supposed to have a book out in 2012. It didn’t happen. I’m still planning on having the next Gaylias book out in 2013. In order to help make that a reality, I’ve had to admit to myself that I’m overwhelmed and look for solutions that don’t impact the caring of my father. There aren’t many. And even looking for solutions has taken energy I didn’t have to spare. But, all is not lost because something did present itself.

My best friend from college–incidentally, he started off seriously disliking me as began the majority of all my closest friendships–and I spent many a Friday and Saturday night at his parents house in his bedroom during those year listening to The Bangles, Enya or Paul Simon and writing our respective novels longhand. Separately, it was difficult at times for us to focus. Together, however, we had a system down and a comfort level that allowed us to relax, stretch and just write. We’d spend a couple of hours doing that after which we’d retire downstairs and watch truly gloriously awful horror movies. The Howling 5? Xtro 2? Loved them!

Don Zomberg (that’s my friend’s name) has been experiencing a major slowdown in his writing, too, and after discussing it with him, agreed to try an experiment. He and his girlfriend drove over from the other side of the state Saturday morning and while she went out shopping, we sat down in the living room, got comfortable, booted up some laptops, put on some Ryan Farish, Tangerine Dream and Enya to listen to, and opened the story we were working on. Would the chemistry still be there that allowed us to go to that place necessary for writers to go when they listen to their muse? Would it work for one of us? Would it work for both of us? Would our muses get their wires crossed and I’d suddenly start writing young adult fiction and he’d write a gay comedy with even less sex in it than I do?

We surprised each other by how easy it was to slip back into that mode. For me, it was as easy sliding into it as it was Taylor Lautner sliding into me during one of my more exotic, erotic, yummy Twilight-inspired daydreams…just with less mess and no rug burns. Hey, I can say that! He’s legal. Anyway, Don made progress on his story and I did one final edit on Spacehunters, then dove back into Gaylias 2. Things went so well that he was eager to continue it on Sunday instead of playing Laser Tag or heading out to a movie. It was exactly what we needed and the results were better than we’d hoped or imagined.

Naturally, the moral of this is simply if you’re experiencing writer’s block and can afford a first class ticket, fine dining and a few minor expenses, Don and I can be hired to come out and write with you, too!

Seriously, he and I will hopefully be getting together again to do another writer’s weekend before our annual MotorCity Comicon weekend in May. It’s not easy finding someone to write with in the same room who you don’t want to strangle after fifteen minutes. Good friends aren’t always easy to come by at our age–and by our age, I mean in our early thirties. I’ve made a few too many mistakes over the past several years and lost a couple of good, longtime friends. I don’t want to lose this one. Besides, my muse likes him. I can’t even always say she likes me, so he’s gotta stay.

Happy Monday and lots of hug noises!

Kris

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Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the recently re-published novella Falling Awake, its sequel, Falling Awake II: Revenant and Falling Awake III: Requiem.

16 Responses to “A Grand, Exciting, Phenomenal and Borderline Orgasmic Writing Experiment!”

Jeff says:
December 10, 2012 at 10:24 am
YAY for the friend inspiring the muse! Don’t forget to take time for yourself. With all you have going on it is easy to burn out. Remember that you are amazing no matter if you ever write another book or pick your dad up again.

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Kris says:
December 10, 2012 at 10:40 am
Having another book does actually help. lol

Actually, I’m looking very much forward to finishing this one because the next one I have in mind feels like it’s going to be a great deal of fun, too. Just a little different. =)

And thank you, Jeff!

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Jeff P says:
December 10, 2012 at 11:52 am
Well of course another book helps. I have been not so patiently waiting for a new book, hell I even started reading Logan’s work. lol

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Kris says:
December 10, 2012 at 2:26 pm
Jesus…that’s desperate. lol

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Patricia Logan says:
December 10, 2012 at 2:35 pm
Pig

Kris says:
December 10, 2012 at 2:37 pm
Oink oink.

Jeff P says:
December 10, 2012 at 9:40 pm
I actually enjoyed it. Ms. Logan is a wonderful author.

Kris says:
December 10, 2012 at 9:43 pm
And I just heard her head explode… heh heh heh heh

Dorien says:
December 10, 2012 at 11:06 am
If it works, go for it! Not quite sure HOW it works, but that doesn’t matter.

And the most important thing is that you’re writing!

D

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Kris says:
December 10, 2012 at 2:32 pm
We don’t know how it works when we meet that one person we want to spend the rest of our lives with. We don’t know how it works when we meet someone we simply click with and start a lifelong friendship. Some things just are. =)

I just think his muse and my muse love to shoot the shit when we’re nearby.

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Patricia Logan says:
December 10, 2012 at 11:44 am
Every time I read a post from you, you get younger. Pretty soon, I’ll be pissing a toddler off… lmao 😛

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Kris says:
December 10, 2012 at 2:34 pm
Look at it this way, the younger I get, the younger you get. lol

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Patricia Logan says:
December 10, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Lol. You always brighten my day (and darken my thoughts…lol)

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Jeff P says:
December 10, 2012 at 11:08 pm
YAY MORE BONDAGE!!!!

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Elin says:
December 10, 2012 at 4:04 pm
You really are a miracle of patience – or Don is quiet as a mouse. I can’t think of anyone who could sit in the same room with me while I’m trying to write whose spleen I wouldn’t want to jump on after ten minutes.

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Kris says:
December 10, 2012 at 9:44 pm
I have tried to write with other people and it’s typically a colossal failure. Damn near killed my husband when he wanted us to work in the same room before. But with Don, we just click and we have the kind of rapport we need.