And Now…A Few Words About The Most Spectacular Man You May Never Have The Opportunity To Meet
Posted on January 31, 2007
Let me get this little bit out of the way real fast: congratulations to the airline crew who escorted the family with the child throwing a tantrum off the plane! Well done. Passengers have to be on a plane 30 minutes prior to departure. If that little girl couldn’t be made to behave in that amount of time, those parents shouldn’t have been given a free trip home or offered a round trip anywhere in the US. And they’re considering a lawsuit against the airline? I’ll bet they can’t even spell the word “frivolous”.
What else? Oh, if you get the chance, check out a brilliant British series called “afterlife”. We watched it over Christmas and it’s just spectacular; dark, edgy, suspenseful and several other positive adjectives.
And now…a few words about the most spectacular man you may never have the opportunity to meet. Today is my partner’s birthday. (applause) He turned 32 and I am incredibly proud of him and not just because he’s chosen to hang with me these past (almost) 13 years. I’m proud of him because he continues to be the kind of man I wish I was more like; honest, sincere, sincerely likeable, patient, dashingly handsome, thin…thinner than I am anyway, successful, humble, concerned, caring, dedicated, unselfish and has phenomenal taste in clothing and shoes. That was just off the top of my head.
And how do I repay him for such a package of perfection? Miss Jenn-Jenn and I took him to play Laser Tag last weekend. Truthfully, he wasn’t really into the spirit of the game and felt poorly because some of the other players consisted of a group of grade school kids enjoying a birthday party. He felt poor, that is, until his vest vibrated and he checked to see who had shot him. The digital readout read “You Have Been Tagged By…”
“Party Princess?” His nostrils flared. “I was shot by someone named Party Princess???” Then came the look of complete and total indignation, then surprise. She shot him again. Have you ever seen a grown man of almost 32 years of age start to hunt a 9 year old with a vengeance? Only to get shot by Bob Saget after stepping two feet forward? I have and I laughed my damn ass off.
He keeps me growing as a person and I keep him reverting back to his lost childhood. Yes, he’s my Ralph, I’m his Luv Muffin and together we’re a well-adjusted gay couple looking to get married to each other one day without being struck down by lightening upon entering the church. Go figure.
So, Happy Birthday Ralph! I’m looking forward to many more with you.
Until my next rant…
Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the recently re-published novella Falling Awake, its sequel, Falling Awake II: Revenant and Falling Awake III: Requiem.
2 Responses to “Classic Blog Post: And Now…A Few Words About The Most Spectacular Man You May Never Have The Opportunity To Meet”
Phoenix Emrys says:
April 16, 2011 at 4:32 pm
And I hope you get ‘em (those many more birthdays!)
Lori Hawkins says:
April 16, 2011 at 7:24 pm
Happy Belated Birthday Ralph!