Bang Your Head (Mental…Not Metal…Health)
Posted on January 2, 2009
There’s been quite a bit of holiday banter going on and I thought I’d share a few things that happened to me during Christmas and New Years for no other reason than because I can!
Where to start… Ralph has a friend who has really, for the most part, only ever looked down his nose at me. I’ve never been good enough. Now, this guy makes a lot of money, travels the world and thinks very highly of himself. You know the type, right? Prim, proper, generally annoying. And he has hair plugs. Darling! So, he sends out his Christmas letter to the masses (and once again spells my name incorrectly as he has for a decade now) and relates how he traveled this past year to a church that once housed the “Shout” of Turin. This guy expressed genuine surprise that I ever got published, yet he heard…saw…whatever the “Shout” of Turin. Yeah, he can bite it.
Next along our little journey, my parents went to pick my mother’s aunt on Christmas Day and bring her back for dinner. I love the woman dearly, but she’s a whiner and loves a good pity party. Unfortunately and unexpectedly, she falls down before leaving and winds up being taken to the emergency room. The folks ask me to drive out with the car since the aunt won’t be able to get into their truck for the ride home, so I do. While at the hospital, we find out that she’s broken her arm just below her shoulder at the top of the humorous, which I fail to find funny and so tell the doctor. It’s lost on him. Seriously, what a tool.
Now, my great aunt is–how shall I put this–a robust woman. I’m being kind, but in ghetto-speak, she big. My aunt looks over at me after the doctor leaves and asks “Do you think my weight had anything to do with breaking my arm so badly?” If she’d never seen what a deer caught in headlights looks like, she did then. It’s Christmas, so, really, what can I say? Are you f*****g kidding me? No. Bad. Bad great nephew. What I muster is a tightlipped “It may have been a contributing factor” to give her some sort of hope of denial.
Finally, a bit of closure. The Class of 1988 reunion was this past November and while I once looked upon it with dread, it was all for naught. I didn’t go to the main event, but I did attend a pre-event and, in all honesty, thoroughly enjoyed myself. The folks I’ve been staying in touch with since have really made all the difference in the world. If you’re one and happen to read this, I humbly thank you. =)
Why bring this up? I was quite fearful of bumping into somebody there who’d made my life rather unhappy back then and I’m understating it quite a bit. Well, one of the aforementioned folks I’ve been talking with suggested that I write the guy an e-mail, which after Christmas I did. I was very polite, very pleasant, and asked what it was that caused the problems way back then. Was it something I did? Was it something I didn’t do? Was it just boys being boys? I really wanted to know because I’d been holding on to those memories for 20 years.
He didn’t remember there being a conflict. Consequently, he also didn’t remember the things I did. And then he did something else; he apologized. That completely threw me. Was he allowed to do that? I haven’t read the rules in a long time, so I’m still not sure. But it threw me nonetheless. This guy was under the mistaken assumption four years that my full name was “Hey Fag”. I did get the answer to my question and receive closure, just not in the way I thought I would. Turns out I held on to some very bad things for 20 years for nothing. What an asshole! Me, not him. Okay, he was back then, but apparently not now.
Right. Now that I have this out of my system, I can get back to writing in the new book.
Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the recently re-published novella Falling Awake, its sequel, Falling Awake II: Revenant and Falling Awake III: Requiem.
One Response to “Bang Your Head (Mental…Not Metal…Health)”
January 27, 2013 at 11:01 pm
You must have held a lot of angst in for a long time and naturally so; being given that derogatory pet name. I can not imagine confronting someone after that sort of continued verbal abuse. You must have felt quite intimidated by this fellow to go on for such a long time. Gee, your not nearly as nice as you use to be. (Smile) somehow you allowed him to get away with that constant taunting. Well congratulations, you have have come to terms with a difficult situation. I have always been quite outspoken, more than able to to speak my mine. Not that I did not cause a rift or two but I did manage to get off my mind and perhaps even rid myself of the person I found to be so disagreeable or disrespectful. I must say that I have mellowed and do not get upset over things of little or no consequences.