Did…Did He Just Introduce Us As Husbands…A Lot?
Posted on March 14, 2016
So my brother-in-law who you’ve affectionately come to know in these blog posts is officially engaged to his girlfriend. We are genuinely pleased about this while their friends are genuinely relieved. There have apparently been betting pools going on regarding if he’d ever actually pop the question. There may have even been a betting pool regarding if she’d pop the question since she tends to wear the pants in the relationship.
My husband and his brother are very, very different when it comes to certain parts of their personalities. Whereas Ralph isn’t needy in the least, my brother-in-law is on the opposite end of the spectrum. I really wish there’d been more of a balance between them in that respect. If I told Ralph “I’m dying,” he’d respond with “Can you wait 5 minutes? Designing Women is almost over.” If I said that to BIL (brother-in-law), he’d ask “However will I survive without you?” Well, if I was dating BIL. I’m not. So, yes, balance would have been nice.
I bought a card to give them to take their engagement party Saturday night, which was a really wonderful gathering! Incidentally, Ralph and I were quite blown away by what their friends put together for them. When it came to the card, though, there was some discussion as to what we should write inside it.
Me: What about “How fantastic you finally found your balls! Where was she hiding them all this time? Congratulations!”
Ralph: You can’t write that!
Me: How about I dictate and you write it?
Ralph: He’s my brother.
Me: Then he won’t take it personally. You should hear some of the $hit he’s said about you.
I was removed from card writing duties. Anyway, I mentioned the party was quite lovely and it honestly was. My only concern going into it is that I only knew three people who might be attending. Fortunately, they showed. I also had the chance to meet BIL’s co-workers and boss, and this led to a truly bizarre moment for us.
The majority of my social time is spent around my non-author friends, author friends, and readers. That’s my social circle. BIL’s social circle consists of straight folks and straight couples who aren’t familiar with my work or even with Ralph. So when one of BIL’s co-workers and her husband met us, they were immediately intrigued and started asking us where we got married, how long we’d been together, etc. It really blew my mind in a good way because I’m used to being more guarded and less open around people who I don’t know. More specifically, I’m used to being more guarded around straight people who I don’t know.
The couple we spoke with were utterly delightful. Ralph and I had a blast chatting with them throughout the evening along with other folks. Honestly, it was a strange feeling to be surrounded by people I who didn’t know and who I didn’t know in terms of how they’d react to me and His Majesty. UBIL didn’t flinch in the least introducing us as his brother and his brother’s husband. Didn’t phase him in the least. Ralph just rolled with it, plausible deniability be damned, which is usually a prerequisite.
Most people tend to look at us with a question or two on the tip of their tongue. I’m used to seeing them look at Ralph and want to ask “You’re with the fluffy white guy? Really?” Then they look at me and I can usually see the comment “Well, if he can land Ralph, he must be pretty damn good in the sack!” I am. And I didn’t get this good without a lot of practice.
Sadly, Ralph had a very early flight out yesterday morning, plus Daylight Savings Time kicked in, so by the time we got home and got him packed, we only had two hours of sleep. Have you ever had to rouse a crabby half Asian who didn’t want to leave a party on time, hates packing, loves procrastinating, and needs to get to the airport on time? It takes a special kind of gweilo to undertake that mission.
There’s just something about marital bliss…that will always remain a mystery to me. And after watching BIL and his fiancé, I know I’ll be in good company. The big question now, however, is if she’ll allow him to live until the wedding next year.
Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the recently re-published novella Falling Awake, its sequel, Falling Awake II: Revenant and Falling Awake III: Requiem.
4 Responses to “Did…Did He Just Introduce Us As Husbands…A Lot?”
Eddie Lam says:
March 14, 2016 at 8:24 am
LOL. I had fun reading this. At least you enjoyed the party. I could imagine how weird/uncomfortable one could feel being introduce as husband. Especially Ralph, but you will get used to it. It is one of the perk being married. =)
Wonder how much life insurance his girlfriend asked BIL got before they can get married. =)
March 14, 2016 at 12:21 pm
This life insurance question is a valid one. I’ll make inquiries…
Patricia Logan says:
March 14, 2016 at 11:25 am
Well, it’s about effing time. Did you notice I didn’t swear on your blog? Another day which will live in infamy.
March 14, 2016 at 12:21 pm
Being sick for so long with a flu bug will make you question how you do things in life. Lol