Die Happy With A Vengeance: The Bucket List
Posted on March 15, 2012
Hey, did you hear about my wedding? Kidding! Seriously, even I’m talked out about it after 5 blog posts. Please, my kingdom for a new subject. Just a moment. One of my staff members, soup maker, I think, just shouted out something sarcastic. <2 minutes pass> Okay, taken care of. Kinda difficult to want to be mouthy when the closest Urgent Care is further away than your pain threshold can last. Anyway, in the search for a new topic to write about, I kept asking myself what the next chapter in my life should include. Maybe I should do something spontaneous, dangerous and exciting! Or, maybe I should do something safe, but exciting! Oh, heck. Why not just work on a bucket list so I can best determine what’s safe and exciting without needing to be spontaneous? Yeah, that’s the ticket.
It used to be I’d tell myself that if I could find and add an official CD release of the Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone soundtrack to my collection that I’d Die Happy. Then I did. So I told myself that if I ever bought an official release of the Metalstorm: The Adventures of Jared-Syn soundtrack that I’d Die Happier! Then I did. So, if I ever bout an official release of the Megaforce soundtrack, I could Die Happy With a Vengeance. Then I did. Shit. Fortunately, there still hasn’t been an official release of the Buckaroo Banzai soundtrack, so I don’t have to Live Free or Die Happy just yet. So, what’s left besides music releases?
1) Ellen. I’ve submitted information to be a guest on Ellen Degeneres’s show for the last two books and have never even rated a rejection letter yet. It’s a little depressing to know I don’t even rate as an E-list celebrity yet. I’m probably kinda down there around the T range. Anyway, I’ll still keep trying. Can you imagine the look on my mother’s face having Ellen Degeneres introduce me as a guest on her show? Ah, Ellen, you have no idea who I am. lol Okay, maybe that’s not the right thing to start with for a bucket list.
2) Australia. Dad and I were going to go there back in 1993 and we came close. What happened? I didn’t want to put the whole trip on credit card–well, more like he didn’t want me doing that–which is exactly what I would have had to have done since I’d just graduated college. As it is, dad and I will never get there together. Ralph and I might. We may be 90 before we do it, but we’ll do it.
3) The honeymoon. It seems like one of those things that should happen without question, right? The thing is, with our schedules and his uncanny ability to put things off, that trip to Australia when I’m 90 and he still looks like he’s 46 may very well be our honeymoon. Adding insult to injury, his Hong Kong Grandma will still be around and want to go with us.
4) East coast. Ralph and I have been talking about taking trip out to the east cost and driving up and down Maine, into Boston and areas like those in order to stop by all the fabulous lobster and seafood restaurants we can find. Some decent New England Clam Chowder would be a real perk, too.
5) Dinner with Kylie Minogue. Okay, this is completely more for my hubby than for me, but even I think she’s awesome. He’s been a fan of hers ever since her first CD was released and he’s made sure to own every single one ever since. I know. I’ve helped buy them for him.
Everything else. Oh, I’d still like to skydive, bungee jump, go up to the top of the Empire State Building (I don’t care if it’s not cheap, mother-in-law!), own one of the stunt motorcycles or dune buggies from Megaforce, meet Peter Strauss, meet Molly Ringwald, spend a week in Key West, another week in San Diego and the Del, write a screenplay, go on vacation with Ralph to some resort where we’re forced to relax, swim and drink ice tea all day (and that has wireless so he doesn’t go completely stir crazy), tour Hawaii, grow old gracefully and die happily.
Yes, this list sounds a little bit selfish, but then a bucket list is full of things you want to do. Half the fun is finding out who joins you during the adventure. And life is an adventure. Too many of us never venture outside our backyard. Then again, some of us travel so far and so often that we don’t see what’s been in our backyard all this time. It’s a funny thing, life.
What’s on your bucket list?
Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the recently re-published novella Falling Awake, its sequel, Falling Awake II: Revenant and Falling Awake III: Requiem.
4 Responses to “Die Happy With A Vengeance: The Bucket List”
Dorien Grey says:
March 15, 2012 at 7:49 am
Since a bucket list is for things to do before you die, the thing is to make it so long you can never accomplish all the things on it, while keeping in mind that it’s the journey, not the destination, that counts.
My own bucket list? Well, I’ve just added joining you in Australia on your 90th birthday.
March 16, 2012 at 9:07 am
And you would be most welcome to join us. By then, advancements in medicine will find you in better shape than we are. =) Just think…there will be Dorien Grey novels into the 25th century!
Eddie Lam says:
March 15, 2012 at 10:52 pm
Perhaps you should adopt a child with Ralph. That will be a big chapter to accomplish 🙂 . It is true that when we get old, we want different thing. There are so many things we want to do. How about enjoy the moment right now? It is simple, but it is so real.
March 16, 2012 at 9:09 am
Like you and Mark did with Nangpa? Your nickname for him is Naughty Nangpa, so we see how well that worked out. lol I’ve suggested adopting an 18 year old houseboy, but have been summarily vetoed. Perhaps we’ll advance from fish to a dog one day.