Reflections of a Gweilo on New Release DVD Tuesday
Posted on October 23, 2007
Two things come to mind right off the bat. First, the friend’s mother who I worked my butt off revising the next book for passed away last night. It was long coming and somewhat painful for her during these past few months, but I hope that when the end came, it was peaceful. My partner’s and my prayers are certainly with the family. Second, I was listening to the news driving into work the other day (I know I’m getting old when I’d prefer to listen to news over the latest noise pollution the music labels are pressuring us to buy instead of download) when I heard a very unusual statement. The announcer stated “Police say the boy recognized an unidentified man coming towards him…” Okay, huh? How can you recognize someone unidentified? I’m still mulling that one over.
I’ve been back to work again recently on the new book after taking a bit of a break. I found that I’d forgotten the names of a few characters who appeared in the chapter and then discovered a HUGE leap of logic that needed to be fixed. Lovely, but it’s moving forward again. I’ve also been examining how the two main characters are interacting with those around them since they are separated from each other during a chunk of the story. It seemed okay, but then I read ahead to bits and pieces of dialogue I’ve written for them in future chapters. Wow! Do they have chemistry! It was a bit of a mistake to separate them… Actually, it’ll be a mistake to keep them apart too long. If I do it right, though, they’ll realize how much they miss each other and it’ll make the spark between them that much better when they do meet up again.
The irony in all of this came when I realized I’d started to draw a parallel to my own relationship. We spend a ridiculous amount of time apart. We do. We started off together for a couple of years, then he graduated college and got his first job. It was in Chicago. Woo hoo. Three bloody years of running back and forth to Chicago until he got his next job. Know where that was? Kansas City. Yeah. Just a tad further away. Fast-forward a couple of years and he found another place with a sizable promotion. Chicago again. It’s been a few years now and he’s getting the itch to move forward in his career. Wanna guess where he’s looking now? London. No, not London, Ontario. London, England. Or, because there’s always an or, Hong Kong.
While we’re on the subject of irony, guess who just called as I finished typing that last sentence? Yep. He forgot to mention to me that he might have a job offer from some islands off the south in the Caribbean. Isn’t that just ducky? I told him, “I want you to be happy in your job. I want you to enjoy what you do. I want you to make the money you want. I just want you to do all of these things CLOSER.” His retort was along the lines of I could move, too.
Let’s break this down. Okay, let’s say I move. I’d need a job. I’d need insurance. He moves every 2-3 years. What if I grow to like what I’m doing? Is it fair to me to then leave? On the flipside, what if I can’t find a job? Like I said, I need insurance. He’s not out at work and won’t inquire about Domestic Partnership benefits. Hence, I need that job. His family is here in Michigan. My family is here in Michigan. My job is in Michigan. My entire friend and support system is in Michigan. Do I really want to move around every couple of years? I’m not really sure.
Apart, we long to be whole. Together, we’re pretty damn good. It’s just finding a place where we can be together and grow. I’d love to get a dog one day. We can’t very well keep taking the dog from one country to the next. Maybe I am getting older. I want some roots. I want to have a home. I want to decorate it and host dinner parties and cook. I want to invite our parents over. I want to set up a great big Christmas tree and lots of lights all around the house, play some music on the CD player and watch it all with my trusty dog. Then, with great anticipation, he’ll walk through the door and we’ll sip hot chocolate together, share a laugh and watch the snow fall. Does that sound like such a horrible thing?
How lucky for me that the answers aren’t already written. What if I didn’t like them? A short person I know recently shared a bit of a philosophy he caught on to while watching a film; it’s not the destination, but rather the journey. Most of us got this decades ago watching “Star Trek”, but it was a new thought for him and new thoughts are good. Still, it is the journey. I have some idea of where I want to go, just not exactly how to get there. My partner, meanwhile, isn’t exactly sure where he wants to go and when he gets lost, just changes where it was he was headed.
Tomorrow is another day.
Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the recently re-published novella Falling Awake, its sequel, Falling Awake II: Revenant and Falling Awake III: Requiem.