The Why Behind Why I Blog

Posted on March 15, 2013

Mortality has been a topic of conversation around both my family and my husband’s family as of late. There’s been a lot going on, mostly personally and a little professionally. Ideally, I’d prefer that be reversed because it’s much easier to write about exciting things going on in one’s professional life than to take a chance on whether or not one is giving too much information about one’s private life. I do discuss a great many things going on in my private life, yet there are limits even I recognize. Only, why document any of it at all? Is there a point to it?

Fame and fortune? Please. Do you know how little the overwhelming majority of authors make? I can only imagine that professional bloggers don’t make much more. Could it be the awards? I actually looked and blog awards really do exist. I suspect you can tell by that last statement how much I write in the hope of getting an award. I’ve only ever even submitted one of my books for a literary award. Talk about awkward. Submit your own book? Really? I’ll never do that again. So, no. It’s not for the awards.

A fellow Michigander and blog reader left me a very nice comment last week. He said I was providing a service to the community. I said it was a nice comment, not an accurate one. Accomplishing such a feat would be a lofty accomplishment, but not one I’ve set out for and certainly not one I feel I’m achieving. I’m just…well, I’m documenting things. I’ve documented how I published, what happens in life between published books, how I went from having a boyfriend to a husband, how life as a gay man has changed through the years and, most recently, how life with one parent with Alzheimer’s and another with Stage 4 lung cancer has impacted the way I live.

For the record, every time I type ‘stage 4 lung cancer,’ I type ‘lunch’ instead. Every time. I have no idea why other than I must have typed lunch far more often in life than lung.

Maybe it goes back to that whole mortality thing. It doesn’t really matter if we come down with a disease. It’s just the older we get, the better the odds that we actually will develop something. In the meantime, we can be hit by a car, a bus, a train, get stabbed, get shot, go down in a plane, a boat or any other way that ends in us with a flat line heart. And when that happens, who’s going to know who we were? Who’s going to know how to find out? What if someone discovers one of my books 5 years after I’m gone from this earth, sits there and wonders who I was? Also, what if someone here and now is going through the same crap I am and wonders if they’re alone?

Hey, I’ve got a little of myself to share and it doesn’t cost anything to do. Besides, as often as I’m called some color metaphors, these posts will allow more open-minded individuals to decide for themselves if I am or not. And maybe I am. Or maybe I’m not. Or maybe I’m a little bit of ‘am’ and a little bit of ‘not.’ Time will tell.

Finally, a couple of people have asked about the Classic Blog posts that go live every other Saturday. No, they aren’t posts that have appeared on my site before. They’re from when I was strictly posting on MySpace. I honestly didn’t expect MySpace to still be around, so I made a concerted effort a year or two ago to go in, copy and paste all the posts into a word document and save them for my archives. Then, when I started blogging on my actual site, I figured the best way to keep them around is to post one a week until I’m all caught up. There are a few that haven’t been worth reposting and I’ll either just delete them from the document or I’ll rewrite bits of them and see if it helps.

One day you’ll have all of me or at least as much as I can share. The question is whether or not you’ll be reading.

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Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the recently re-published novella Falling Awake, its sequel, Falling Awake II: Revenant and Falling Awake III: Requiem.

13 Responses to “The Why Behind Why I Blog”

Dorien says:
March 14, 2013 at 9:00 am
You and I are, in our thinking, pretty much two peas in a pod. But I think both of us write what and the way we do to prove to the tens of millions other kindred-without-realizing-it spirits that it is a very large pod, indeed.

D

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Kris says:
March 14, 2013 at 9:19 am
Blogging is a bit like visiting a coffee shop, D (to use a recent idea from one of your posts). We go into one in the cyber world, talk out loud to ourselves, people overhear us and sometimes chime in, more often don’t, and then we get up and walk out until it’s time for the next visit. Maybe they’ll put a little picture of us on the wall one day that we’ve frequented the place for many years.

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West says:
March 14, 2013 at 9:11 am
I do sit and wonder sometimes if I’m alone in all of this. I know I’m not. Geez…I write an on-going, online, serialized YA LGBTQ story with two friends. And we meet once a week to discuss the series and publishing and everything. But when I’m sitting at my computer, typing out a blog post, I do wonder. I wonder who reads it and why they don’t comment. Then I smack myself and say who cares. It gives me an outlet for all the insanity running amok in my head.

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Kris says:
March 14, 2013 at 9:22 am
You know, I do actually pay attention to Google Analytics because I’m curious how many people stop by and which posts they read. The overwhelming majority of folks are lurkers and never say a word and that’s okay. I just hope they find something that shows we’re a little bit alike and they keep coming back. And let’s face it, the insanity that runs amok can be kinda fun. =)

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Katy Trick says:
March 14, 2013 at 9:15 am
For whatever reason you write (blog included), don’t stop. I find what you have to say interesting, refreshing, insightful, humorous and oftentimes soul bearing and endearing. You make people think and laugh about life and themselves. Those are two very important things we need more of in our lives. But most of all, it is important to you and is part of who you are. You need to do this to keep your life on an even keel (and keep your sanity, at times). Keep putting it out there.
“Write it and they will read it.” – a little twist on a Field of Dreams quote. Corny, yes, but still aprapoe.

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Kris says:
March 14, 2013 at 9:26 am
Oh, Katy…if only there were another 999,997 of you! I had a really neat little thing happen this morning. Remember when singer/songwriter Martha Davis wrote a Face of Gay post for me? I’ve kept in touch with her and sat down last night to read A Funny Thing… after having read Gaylias. I received an e-mail this morning and I’d forgotten that I mentioned her name in the list of thank yous to people I’d never met, but who inspired me nevertheless. That was a nice way to wake up and probably worth sharing in a future post. =)

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Katy Trick says:
March 14, 2013 at 9:37 am
A very nice thing to wake up to, indeed. I can only think of one other thing you might like better. *giggles*
I do think it would make for a good blog post in the future. Hearing from Martha Davis is not something that happens to you every day.

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Jeff says:
March 14, 2013 at 11:53 am
I don’t think I can say it better than Katy. Your touching, humorous, and compelling post are one of the reasons I decided to write. You are an inspiration and those of us that read your blog feel as if we know you and are blessed that we do.

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Kris says:
March 14, 2013 at 12:16 pm
Wow. I’m not doing too badly then. Most people just call me touching, humorous, compelling, inspirational and blessed in bed. Now I’m doing it all out of bed. I’ve got stock!

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JP Adkins says:
March 14, 2013 at 12:40 pm
From whom Kris? You know that Ralph would never say those things to you out loud. He may think them for all I know, but would never say them. 🙂

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Kris says:
March 14, 2013 at 12:49 pm
I had a life before him, thank you. 😛 I started dating him when I was 24, which left me 16 years of experience points to rack up.

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Vastine Bondurant says:
March 14, 2013 at 3:45 pm
Kris, I liked your comparison of blogging to visiting a coffee shop. I guess that’s pretty much how I look at it. I just, sometimes, feel like having my friends over and I want to talk. No awards for me, either.

And, by the way, I love ‘listening’ to you talk.

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Kris says:
March 14, 2013 at 10:59 pm
I adore you, Vastine. =) Just sayin’.