Catching A Memory

Posted on April 12, 2012

Finally getting my guy to answer a few interview questions turned out better than I’d hoped. The blog post about him received more than double the amount of traffic I usually bring in. I mentioned this to him, which prompted the response “Bet you wish you wouldn’t have asked me to behave. I might have brought in more if I’d replied to them like I do to you.” Yes, Ralph is now enjoying the idea of considering himself an entertainer. Well, if insulting your audience works for Don Rickles and Lisa Lampanelli, then maybe he does have a future in it. More important than his post-retirement aspirations, though, is that this was the first weekend we’d had together since the wedding and you know what that means!

Yes, it means I picked up after him just like he disclosed in the interview. His discarded clothes somehow elude anything that remotely resembles a pile (let alone the dirty clothes hampers), dishes and glasses can be found in any area with an open surface as long as it’s not the kitchen sink, and random cupboards have their contents emptied in front of them as if the crew of In Search Of had visited and left unsatisfied. He calls it romance when I pick up after him. I don’t care he calls it that as long as he doesn’t call me Daddy. I’ve already got one jackass at work who keeps joking about me applying for my AARP card—which I’m still a far cry from doing—so I don’t need the extra annoyance of Ralph making a joke at my expense out of the d-word

Now, speaking of romance, I did ask him what he felt some of our most romantic moments have been. I think the definition confuses him because he thought long and hard about it before turning to me and asking “What do you think some of our most romantic moments have been?” That’s it. Deflect the question by putting it back on me. That’s actually one of his ideas of romance. Sick, isn’t it?

Romance for us, I think, has been sitting down and watching a marathon of TV episodes together, something like Absolutely Fabulous, Are You Being Served?, Farscape, Class Act or The Invisible Man. It’s been when he comes up behind me while I’m cooking or washing dishes and hugs me or rubs my back. He also waits for me to give some sort of signal that I’m enjoying it, which is his cue to stop. It’s true! He does. The moment I start to look relaxed or sigh in that satisfied way, he’ll stop and walk away with a satisfied look in his eye knowing he’s not given me too much. And he wonders why I write about him in my books! Just wait until you read the next installment in the Gaylias series. You’ll see.

We also took the opportunity to watch the video of the wedding ceremony and that was a unique experience. If you can’t laugh at yourself–especially with how nervous I was and when he often he cracked up when the word ‘respect’ was uttered–then your relationship is lacking some serious fun! In fact, I urge everyone to go home and laugh at your spouse or significant other, only don’t tell them why! Let it be a mystery to them.

And as all good things do, his time ended and he flew back out on Tuesday morning. I came home after work, started picking up his clothes and came across a shirt he’d worn the previous day. I held it in my hand for a bit, felt the soft material, then brought it up to my face and inhaled. Doing this didn’t strike me as odd or awkward. It was…it was catching a memory. That to me is a beautiful thing.

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Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the recently re-published novella Falling Awake, its sequel, Falling Awake II: Revenant and Falling Awake III: Requiem.

12 Responses to “Catching A Memory”

C. Zampa says:
April 12, 2012 at 7:19 am
Those quite times ARE the most romantic. Hugs to you and Ralph.

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Kris says:
April 12, 2012 at 6:50 pm
For as much grief as we give each other, especially in fun, it’s made it all worth it. =)

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sue laybourn says:
April 12, 2012 at 7:27 am
Oh, the inhaling the scent on a shirt. Lovely.

The small things are the most romantic to me.

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Kris says:
April 12, 2012 at 6:52 pm
I thought that might come across as a little strange, so I’m glad it didn’t. There was a moment when I walked in and got a bit irked at how much I had to pick up, but then it all melted away when I felt his shirt and inhaled his scent. It was one of those moments that stays with you.

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Dorien Grey says:
April 12, 2012 at 9:10 am
“Pookalicious Wookiebuns”? Oh, dear LORD, Kris! You’ve totally lost it! The “Pookalicious” I can go along with, but….! Have you considered taking up a hobby? Writing, perhaps?

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Kris says:
April 12, 2012 at 6:53 pm
Hmm…I wrote a blog post a few months ago officially announcing that was his name. lol I figure that it works. I’ve also called him Wookiebuns for 15 years. He only just found out 3 years ago as to why I call him that.

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Jeff says:
April 12, 2012 at 9:20 am
If Pumpkin falls asleep on the couch, I find myself cuddled around one of his pillows when I wake up. Of course he gets angry when he comes to bed and tries to pry it out of my hands, but that is one of the little joys I have.

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Kris says:
April 12, 2012 at 6:54 pm
The two of you will find many ways to torture each other over the years and you’ll love every second of it!

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Toni says:
April 12, 2012 at 8:11 pm
lolol Please don’t tell me it’s Wookiebuns because he has an incredibly hairy ass like a Wookie *hdesk*

The inhaling the shirt bit is very understandable to me.

It’s reinforcing a sensory memory which is why it’s so powerful. I have a shirt that belonged to my dad. It was his favourite and he wore it a lot. I keep it wrapped and every once in a while when I miss him the most I take it out and smell it. It brings him right back to me at that moment. So no it’s not sappy or overly romantic. Your mind is simply craving him is all and you needed a strong reminder ;D

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Kris says:
April 13, 2012 at 11:24 am
He has a slightly hairy bum for an Asian. lol But I love every bit of it. Mmmmmmmm.

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Katherine Trick says:
April 15, 2012 at 8:08 am
Good thing you do love him so much. If you didn’t, all the messes he leaves would drive you to the brink of strangling him. LOL!

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Kris says:
April 15, 2012 at 9:09 am
Oh, I still wanted to, but that’s just part of his charm. Arrive, annoy, love and leave a mess. It seems to be his motto.