Seriously? You’re Dating An Asian? Why?
Posted on March 21, 2011
You know it’s going to be one of those days when somebody says “You’re dating an Asian? Why?” I’ve been asked that before and it’s usually followed by someone listing the ethnic anatomical stereotypes before getting into the whole “Oh, so you’re like a rice queen and he’s a potato queen?” Ironically, those may be the four things UCLA student Alexandra Wallace didn’t bring up last week in her little tirade about Asians in the library.
Let’s face it. This is a bizarre world we live in and I remain absolutely dumbfounded by the focus on the color of someone’s skin or the shape of their eyes. The truth of the matter is that I never dated my partner because of his ethnicity. I dated him because we’d been friends for 3 1/2 years and I knew him to be someone of outstanding character and integrity. He still is. We had similar enough interests and enough differences to keep a steady common ground while also allowing us our own private time for our other academic, professional and social pursuits.
I grew to have an appreciation of Chinese culture over the 16 years we’ve been together, all of which has been enhanced by going overseas to Hong Kong and China on a number of trips. (A trip like that also give Alexandra some much-needed perspective.) Does that mean I’d date someone of Asian ethnicity if anything ever happened with my current relationship? Yes. Why? I’ve found that many of my friends who happen to be Asian are looking for something long-term in a partner. They’re looking to grow old with someone and experience what life has to offer. I find this to be a very attractive mind-set.
Now, not everything in life is perfect. Far from and there are a number of annoying things about Ralph, one of which can be attributed to most Asians; he will always look younger than he is and he’s already 4 1/2 years younger than I am. He was actually carded at a casino buffet last November because the cashier didn’t think he was the legal age to get in. I requested management have her checked for cataracts when she didn’t bat an eye at me. Grr…
So many folks have told my guy how delicious looking he is throughout the years that his side job is modeling for GQ in his sleep. No matter what side I sleep on, at some point during the night, up goes his elbow and he dramatically poses with his hand resting on his forehead and his elbow just mere millimeters above my face. Like Heinz Ketchup, it’s the anticipation.
And then the snoring starts, only it’s disguised as affection. He’ll snuggle up, get comfy, crave warmth, nuzzle my ear and fall asleep. That’s when the sounds start. The louder he snores, the more sleep I lose, the more rested he is in the morning.
But I switched gears on him this weekend. Once the snoring had been going on for several minutes, I gently got up, went to the other side of the bed and snuggled in behind him. The noise went directly to the opposite side of the room and there it stayed, safely away from my own ears.
I also had a little surprise for him this morning. Remember that subliminal conditioning I mentioned over the past two weeks that I suspected he’d been doing? Well, he asked “Go make me some tea?” I told him “No.” He then countered with “You want to go make me some tea, K,” and, as usual as of late, I responded with “By your command, Imperious Leader.” Son of a… But here’s where the surprise kicks in. I was looking at the online ads and saw a listing for a “Stand By Me” Blu-Ray. “I think I’d like to pick this up,” I told him. “No,” came his favorite response. “You want me to pick this up, Ralph.” I used the magic phrase. “Of course,” the words flowed from his mouth. “You can pick up any Blu-Ray you want. What the… Son of a…”
Oh, yes. Two can play at that game.
Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the novella Falling Awake, its sequel, Falling Awake II: Revenant and Falling Awake III: Requiem.
One Response to “Seriously? You’re Dating An Asian? Why?”
Dorien Grey says:
March 22, 2011 at 4:28 am
Nice to see someone who appreciates what he’s got while he’s got it!