So…There’s the Whole Thing That Happened Yesterday

Posted on June 27, 2013

The great Abraham Lincoln once said “Four score and seven years ago…” No, wait. I meant the great Abrahama Lincoln. She’s a drag queen I know who called me yesterday, saying “Four Skor bars and seven Yogurt Malted Milk Balls ago…” (Abrahama had just gotten off a diet). So, many years back—which she was referencing—my guy and I started dating and once joked about what it would be like to get married. It was completely unthinkable. He said it would never happen. Or he may have been hoping it would never happen since I’d then be eligible for half of everything he owned. And then, gradually, the dream started to become a reality. That and I’m very, very close to being eligible for half of everything he owns.

Huh…I think I just heard him wake up in the middle of the night (he’s currently in Hong Kong with his grandmother) and scream. It must have just dawned on him.

I remember when President Obama first spoke out in favor of gay marriage. I was terrified of the potential for retaliation against the community. Yes, support behind gay marriage has improved and continues to improve, but it only takes one person with a grudge willing to take it one step farther to turn to violence. What could we do to help lessen the chances of that happening? What could ‘I’ do?

Truth be told, public speaking scares the hell out of me. I’m hardly famous, so the media isn’t exactly going to be calling my phone for a quote, so then there’s that. But, I do have a blog. I do have readers. And I do have friends, some of who are gay and some of who aren’t. Why not combine them all and try to create an understanding through which others not familiar with the GLBT community could learn about us? It became The Face of Gay.

I’ve read the dissenting opinions from the Supreme Court regarding DOMA. There’s a tremendous amount of legaleze along with the opinion stated that it could never have been the intention to use DOMA as a way to demean or harm gay couples. Rather, all DOMA did (according to Justice Scalia) was “codify an aspect of marriage that had been unquestioned in our society for most of its existence—indeed, had been unquestioned in virtually all societies for virtually all of human history.”

Because that’s never wrong to do.

The message, as I see it and I’m told I’m too logical sometimes, should have been this: “You want to get married and be extended all the benefits heterosexuals get? Then go ahead. Straight marriage isn’t perfect and the statistics aren’t as favorable as they should be, so raise the bar and become the example. Show us we were wrong to deny you.”

That’s essentially where we are by a one-vote majority.

Is what we’re doing working? I’ll leave you now with an e-mail I received from a friend and former co-worker of mine (Patricia Hebel) who’s been reading the Face of Gay posts. She’s straight and you can make up your own mind if we’re making a difference with that series.

“Now, before we get into this, let me tell you that I am straight. No, I do not hate, look down on, or despise anyone who is gay, bi-sexual, lesbian, or transgender. In fact, I feel the greatest sympathy for all the stupidity that has been inflicted upon you.

I think that you deserve to stand tall. There are too many people out there with rather Neolithic views. I think that you have come a long way, and need to come a great deal farther. I choose to believe that God does not make mistakes.

People who say and do hateful things are to be pitied for their woeful ignorance. Human nature is to hate, distrust, and fear what they do not understand. It is not your fault that these people do not understand you. It is theirs, for not taking the time to learn. I commend you in your efforts to educate people!

How soon people forget that we are all the same under the skin. We all bleed red when cut. We all have feelings that can be hurt with hateful words and actions. We all have a capacity to love another human being, regardless of gender. To be singled out, simply on the basis of sexual orientation is just wrong.

Hang in there. Keep fighting the good fight. Eventually, the ignorant people will dry up and blow away. Don’t let your minds and hearts be troubled. Know that there are people out there that care about you, who support your cause, who pray for a day when everyone is equal.

I may be straight, but I consider you all to be my brothers and sisters. I am sure other straight people feel the same way. You are wonderful, loving, kind. Don’t accept some “label” from an ignorant source! The world really needs you!”

Have any of you noticed any negativity or support since the announcement yesterday?

________________________
Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the recently re-published novella Falling Awake, its sequel, Falling Awake II: Revenant and Falling Awake III: Requiem.

5 Responses to “So…There’s the Whole Thing That Happened Yesterday”

Dorien says:
June 27, 2013 at 8:46 am
May Patricia’s attitude be contagious. And time has all but robbed me of the option to marry, I am indescribably happy for current and future generations who can now do so. I hope Michigan soon becomes yet another state in which same-sex marriage is declared legal.

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Patricia Logan says:
June 27, 2013 at 12:10 pm
I’m not going to dwell on the negativity of some people. It eats me up and the media makes it a thousand percent worse. So, I just tune it out and move on. I prefer to bask in the feeling of victory and all the love.

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CR Guiliano says:
June 27, 2013 at 12:59 pm
I think Patricia’s email could not have said it better. I’m on both sides, het but was married to a transgender. My opinion, classic K2, is that labels mean nothing and why we, as human beings, must label other human beings makes no sense. Equality should be had by all, no matter what. “The good fight?” All good things are worth fighting for. I, myself, will support and feel for a community that should never have been singled out in the first place. I know what it feels like to be on the wrong side of the hate. My heart and love will always be with those that need me. *hugs*

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Joelle Casteel says:
June 27, 2013 at 1:47 pm
Wonderful, what Patricia had to say.

Well as far as negative/positive, I’ve mostly picked who I wanted to interact with and that meant not interacting with people I knew would be negative about the decisions. Unfortunately that meant not calling my son- whose with my parents- because I want him to know, but my mother is rapidly anti-anything having to do with non-heterosexuals.

In the morning, I was sitting in the chatroom for my church as people with legal knowledge explained the rulings as they came down. It was good. I knew that sitting in that chatroom with me were dozens of people whose lives will be made better by those decisions.

I did have the one negative though- seeing articles on fb talking about the slippery slope argument. As a polyamorous person who supports polygamy when all are consenting, yeah the slippery slope hurts because I know I am that horrifying end to the slope that conservatives talk about.

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Sue hughes says:
June 27, 2013 at 10:10 pm
Here among my friends in Australia there is nothing but overwhelming joy