That One Perfect Defining Moment Frozen In Time
Posted on December 12, 2011
There’s a picture I carry in my wallet since the day it was taken. My guy and I had been going out for a week or two and I decided to take half a day off of work and drive us north to Port Huron. There’s a mall there that had–at the time–a large carousel and arcade. Since he’d never been there, I thought it might be nice to walk around, grab some lunch and maybe play a few games. He saw a little photo booth there and suggested we have our picture taken together. It allowed us to take four different shots, then spit them out for our amusement. Ralph and I divided the four up and I’ve carried one around with me ever since and it’s been almost 17 years now.
I look at it now and am struck by how far we’ve come as individuals and as a couple, yet we’re still very much the same as we were back then, only at heart. It takes a little digging around from time to time, but he still looks at the world with innocent amazement of its possibilities and I tend to be a watchdog, always on the alert and guarding against any harm he’s heading towards or anyone walking towards him who gives off a strange vibe. I’ve always been protective and he’s always skipped towards anyplace angels might have feared to tread.
We look and feel a little older now, too. He’s pointed out the lines around my eyes and I’ve started to pull out the occasional gray hair from his head while being greeted each morning by my own. I return the greeting with a pair of tweezers. Sadly, the gray hair I have coming in doesn’t even bother to hide anymore. They’re getting bolder and, I fear, breeding.
My knees make cracking sounds and his fingers, still nimble and strong, make interesting noises of their own. I still avoid his fingers for back massages unless he offers. I know better. He’s wrenched my neck out of alignment and fractured my foot in three places giving me a massage I asked for that he didn’t offer. And no, he didn’t do it on purpose. He was merely annoyed because he HATES giving or receiving massages. That’s back when I had health insurance, though. We’re more careful these days.
One of my favorite movies, a Japanese film called Afterlife, is about a place people go after they die where they must choose one moment to carry with them into the next life. I don’t know how we could ever expect to sum our lives up in a single moment. It seems a daunting task at best. BUT. But if I had to choose, I would choose the moment that picture was taken. I may have carried it around in my wallet for seventeen years, but it will be carried around in my heart long after its faded and worn away.
That’s my idea of a perfect moment frozen forever in time and it can carry my soul further than anything else I can imagine. It represents the power we offer each other in this world and it’s the power he’s given me. His gift, something taken so early on, will one day be what allows us to find each other in the next life.
What more could any of us ask for?
Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the recently re-published novella Falling Awake, its sequel, Falling Awake II: Revenant and Falling Awake III: Requiem.
19 Responses to “That One Perfect Defining Moment Frozen In Time”
C. Zampa says:
December 12, 2011 at 9:00 am
I don’t suppose one COULD ask for anything more. You’re both very nice looking men now, but how cute you were then. I’m afraid I’d have had a horrible crush on Ralph, too.
This made me cry. I’m not sure why, don’t even want to know why, it just did. But a nice cry. I like nice crying. It’s good for the soul.
Thanks for shaing this moment.
December 12, 2011 at 9:29 am
Most people did have a crush on him, Carol. =) They still do and there was a period of time after he and I started dating where friends he’d meet through his job and working in Chicago were amusingly spiteful towards me because he was “off the market” before he was ever really on. Ah, youth. I don’t miss it. lol
Lloyd Meeker says:
December 12, 2011 at 9:22 am
Beautiful post, Kris – The spark of adventure and wonder is in his eyes, and yours, too – the “I don’t know what I’ve got myself into but I like it and I’m going to find out what it is” look. May the two of you have another wonderful 17 years together, and another after those. You’d better get that photo laminated!
December 12, 2011 at 9:31 am
Thank you, Lloyd. =) My mother asked me a couple of weeks ago for my favorite picture of the two of us and I finally decided that this is the one. I scanned it in and I think she’s going to have it put on a Christmas ornament. It feels very fitting if she does since we’re planning on getting married in NYC this February on our anniversary.
I look forward to however many years we have together. Rita Rudner said it best; “It’s an amazing thing when you find that one person you want to annoy for the rest of their lives.”
Dorien Grey says:
December 12, 2011 at 9:41 am
Ah, Kris…of all your fine traits, your romanticism is among the very best.
December 12, 2011 at 10:08 am
I’m not proud of this, but when I was in college, I once told someone that love is an illusion created by idiots who need something to believe in. I suspect this now makes me one of the biggest idiots roaming the planet.
Dawn R. says:
December 12, 2011 at 11:16 am
Aww Kris, you two look so good together and the sparkle in your eyes…priceless..or is it devilish sparkle…not sure yet. *laughs* May you have many more wonderful years together.
December 12, 2011 at 11:54 am
Oh, I’m sure there was a little devil in us back then. I’m told it’s still with us today. We’re just better at masking it. heh heh
Sara York says:
December 12, 2011 at 11:26 am
December 12, 2011 at 11:54 am
Jeff P says:
December 12, 2011 at 11:44 am
I hope that after 17 years, Pumkin and I are as in love as Ralph and yourself.
December 12, 2011 at 11:55 am
Take lots of pictures, work on keeping a sense of humor and never let him forget how lucky he is. Do that last one often enough, he’ll start to behave just as I have. Ralph has me well-trained. Mostly…
Leaundra Ross says:
December 12, 2011 at 11:56 am
Aww you guys really do look so sweet. I love the I met someone special look on your faces. So glad you guys have had your 17 years together and I know you’re happy to add more years. 🙂
December 12, 2011 at 7:20 pm
He kept telling me that he’d rule the world one day. Am starting to think that’s how he kept me doing his bidding… Either way, it’s habit now and I love him just the same.
Susan Raymon says:
December 12, 2011 at 3:44 pm
Oh my gosh,,, Kris I remember that sweet innocent face, what the heck happend? LOL I’m glad to see you happy. May your relationship blossom for another 40 years.
December 12, 2011 at 7:20 pm
What happened? His mother started feeding more a ridiculous amount of food. That’s what happened. She’s a very good cook, btw. lol
Angel Martinez says:
December 12, 2011 at 6:24 pm
*sniff* Not crying. I am NOT. It’s…the dust in here.
December 12, 2011 at 7:21 pm
I always go with onions. Dust just means we haven’t vacuumed or dusted enough and that would mean poor housekeeping. 😛
December 12, 2011 at 10:10 pm
Just lovely. Thanks for sharing, Kris.