The DragonCon 2012 Files (Profanity Included) Part 1

Posted on September 3, 2012

DragonCon is a fascinating experience, especially when it comes to documenting it and also getting online to check one’s email. Unlike other hotels that offer free wireless, the Hyatt where I stay doesn’t. And, naturally, the first message I looked at had the subject line “6 Local Girls Want To Meet You.” I’m sure they do, but the feeling isn’t mutual. And if they persist, I’ll simply tell Patricia Logan about them and she’ll have them knocked off. If Patti can’t have me, no woman can. And no woman can. Steven Yeun can. Hell, he damn near almost did. Unfortunately, the line for his signature was too long and totally missed out finding out all this could have been his last night. Hey, he’s on a series. He could have afforded to pay the hubby off for a night he wouldn’t have forgotten. But enough about his loss…

It used to be that some of us who flew to Atlanta came in a day early just so we could have an easier time with registration, relax and enjoy a leisurely evening before chaos started Friday morning. Not this time. Everyone lost their shit and arrived a day early, which is downright ridiculous! Don’t these people have jobs and obligations that keep them home and away from those of us who’ve been doing it this way for the past 7 years? Hello? Rude!

The hotel didn’t have a room like I’d requested in the one tower, but they did have one in the other tower. The thing is it was an upgrade and $20 more a night. I gave it great thought and consideration (approximately 1.3 seconds) before agreeing to it. Unfortunately, I realized I needed to get the husband’s input on this–because he likes to feel involved when it comes to money matters–so I called him and asked what he thought. He was totally fine with it…which is a good thing since I’d called him from the room and not downstairs before accepting the key.

So, after some blah blah blah with my friends from NYC who came in for the event, I called it a night, got up the next morning, had our traditional breakfast at the Hilton and got to work. Now, typically, a Friday is spent not doing very much because there’s too many people here. Not this year. Oh, there were too many people, but I went to the dealer’s rooms, bought gifts for my parents and friends, took in two panels (a Battlestar Galactica panel and one with Richard Dean Anderson–yes, MacGyver himself) and took care of having two pictures taken.

Anybody familiar with Katee Sackhoff? She played Starbuck on the re-imagined Battlestar Galactica and a total ass kicking femme fatale in other shows. Well, get this…she showed up to her panel and picture…IN A DRESS! The woman is a knockout! I couldn’t get over what a girl Katee is. I just…wow. Seriously. Wow. And topping it off, she’s only 5’5″, which is why she wore 6″ heels in the picture we took. The poor girl is totally undertall and yet she totally blew me away. I’m still in shock and awe by her. I probably also like her because she loved the shirt I was wearing. Gay male authors like to be complimented on their snarky attire when they make the effort and I was working it like there was no tomorrow. Am surprised she didn’t snap her fingers and all me ‘girlfriend.’

The second picture I had that day was with the Coop. Yes, you don’t get much cooler than Alice Cooper. There were some definite miscommunications, though. I went up, shook his hand, and mentioned I was from Detroit (which is where he’s originally from).

AC: How about those Lions?
KG: The ones at the Detroit Zoo?
AC: What?
KG: On Woodward? Near Royal Oak?
AC: I’m talking about the Detroit Lions. They look like they’ve got a good team this year.
KG: Ohhhh! You just made a sports reference.
AC: Oh, God. You’re part of that untapped fanbase my manager doesn’t tell me about, aren’t you?
KG: No. I get tapped on a fairly regular basis.
AC: That would be a ‘yes.’

Topping my Friday night off after having gotten up at 6:30 a.m. to wake my husband up for work, I did a panel with the lovely Kiernan Kelly (who invited me up to join the group) on GLBT lit. We had a very, very good turnout considering how the panel is truly treated like the red-headed bastard stepchild and always given the latest slot available at the end of the night. I’ll own my opinion and just say that it’s bullshit. I’d have thought we’d come further in this day and age, but apparently some of us still haven’t. Regardless, it was an awesome time with lots of laughs and Kiernan sharing a little tale from a previous panel about Captain Kirk fucking a tribble like it was a loofah.

Yes, get that charming image out of your mind.

So, I think I’ll end things here for the moment, but just to keep you tuned in for Thursday, here’s what you’re in store for:

–What did Anthony Michael Hall ask me to slip him?
–How much was Gillian Anderson charging for an autograph and what could you pay extra for when you went up for that autograph?
–What absolutely god-awful bad habit does Gillian Anderson have that seriously made me want to say something sarcastic about it to her?
–Did I finally meet Steven Yeun and was I better? (well, duh, of course I was!)
–What kind of a handshake does Bruce Boxleitner have?
and, finally
–What was my response to someone at the second GLBT panel who suggested she didn’t like how Yaoi boys always had one male character acting like a woman during sex?

Find out Thursday!

________________________
Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the recently re-published novella Falling Awake, its sequel, Falling Awake II: Revenant and Falling Awake III: Requiem.

13 Responses to “The DragonCon 2012 Files (Profanity Included) Part 1”

Dorien says:
September 3, 2012 at 11:00 am
You lead an interesting life, sir. I eagerly await the next installment of your current adventure.

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Kris says:
September 3, 2012 at 5:07 pm
Interesting things merely go on around me, sir. I merely document them. =)

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Kayelle Allen says:
September 3, 2012 at 12:44 pm
Looking forward to part 2!

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Kris says:
September 3, 2012 at 5:07 pm
Oh, Lord. I have to write it, don’t I? lol

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Dawn Roberto says:
September 3, 2012 at 1:11 pm
can’t wait for part 2 Kris *grins* Love this recap

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Kris says:
September 3, 2012 at 5:07 pm
I did have fun with it!

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Patricia Logan says:
September 3, 2012 at 2:18 pm
We need shirt pictures dude and puuuleeeese don’t try to make me jealous of the females falling at your mutantly large clown feet. You know your female fan base consists of exactly one… me!

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Kris says:
September 3, 2012 at 5:08 pm
There was a very drunk woman at dinner the other night who asked me to step outside with her while she kept thrusting her mighty bosoms forward. Like that would work.

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Lexi Ander says:
September 3, 2012 at 4:25 pm
All right. Officially jealous. Cooper and Sackoff? ~huff~ Going to sulk now. 🙂 Sounds like you had a blast. xoxo

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Kris says:
September 3, 2012 at 5:08 pm
Wait until you see the next pic I post on Thursday. lol

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Shae Connor says:
September 3, 2012 at 8:12 pm
Oh Lord. I hope the people from Saturday night’s panel don’t show up here to continue their argument in comments… 😉

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CR Guiliano says:
September 4, 2012 at 11:26 am
So, you got to handshake with Alice….nice! (I’ll refrain from commenting about the “reimagined Battlestar Galactica”, as I’m a huge fan of the original), however….SHAME!!! “Undertall?” 5’5″ is UNDERTALL??? Sheesh, what does that make me at 5’3″???? Midget material??

Oh, and as you are so tall, and I would have the perfect view of your t-shirts, I’m with Patti and there should be more pictures…

Glad you had Fun Kris…too bad you can’t make GRL. We could have *snapped and girlfriended* together.

*hugs*

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Kiernan Kelly says:
September 6, 2012 at 1:22 pm
For next year, I suggest two different t-shirt designs:

1. Butt Pirates in Space… In space, no one can hear you cream. With cover art.

2. Kirk screwing a tribble. No tag line necessary.