This Man + Travel = Fatigued Beyotch

Posted on January 17, 2016

Have you ever heard of hodophobia? It’s the fear of road travel. I don’t suffer from it in case you’re wondering. Or siderodromophobia? That’s the fear of trains, railroads, or train travel. I don’t suffer from that either. They just aren’t interesting enough for me to even try and develop a phobia for, plus my plate is full enough trying to deal with my current idiosyncronicities. Believe it or not, travel is a problem for me. Well, more specifically, travel by plane. I’m not afraid of planes. It’s nothing like that. But I am absolutely physically exhausted from the flight after I land.

I used to think it was the duration of a flight that did me in. I’ve gone out to California before and 3 ½ hours on a plane is enough to knock me on my ass for the rest of the day. I arrive, catch my shuttle, get dropped off at the hotel, and then I collapse with a nice nap. This didn’t strike me as odd. Hell, from beginning to end, it would take me 22 hours to go from Detroit to Japan, switch planes, and then arrive in Hong Kong. If you ever wanted to see an overtired raving bitch of a white man, that would be me after deplaning!

The weird thing, though, is I’m the same way with even a 45 minute flight from Detroit to Chicago. There’s just something about being in a plane that messes with me, and I don’t get stressed during flights or find them horribly uncomfortable. The flight to NYC is slightly longer and I’m fatigued when I land. The same with Atlanta, where I travel a couple times a year. I get to the hotel, friends want to get together, and all I want to do is sleep.

If there’s a tricky part to this, and there is, it’s looking at upcoming travel. I actually get physically tired contemplating future trips. I’m going with Ralph to Milan next month, which is about a 9 hour flight. I haven’t even packed yet and I’m exhausted just thinking about landing. And that’s no good because we have tickets to see a painting or something the day we land. Something about a Supper. Last Supper? Or maybe we’re going out to dinner. Whatever the case, I’m going to be bloody tired until I get a good night of rest.

Some of it is probably psychological. My husband is a madman when he takes trips like these. Not only is he up at the butt crack of dawn, but he likes to be out until the latest moment possible whereas I see no reason to change my schedule. I don’t need to be up before everything opens. I don’t need to stay out well after everything closes. I get no enjoyment from it. But I do enjoy seeing new places, sampling the local cuisine with him, and people watching. He’s also fun to travel with when not acting like a madman.

I’m curious if any of you who are reading this suffer from flight fatigue or know anybody who does. How do you or they cope?

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Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the recently re-published novella Falling Awake, its sequel, Falling Awake II: Revenant and Falling Awake III: Requiem.

1 Response to “This Man + Travel = Fatigued Beyotch”

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Brent Seth says:
January 7, 2016 at 2:50 pm
I hate driving almost as much as I hate dental work, and flying nearly as much. Although the flight from Detroit to Chicago, oddly enough, doesn’t bother me, anything over an hour is intolerable. 60.12 minutes, and I’m crazed. I can never sleep on a plane, or relax in any way whatsoever, but instead of getting tired, I get wired. Maybe it’s the pressured oxygen, but more likely, the lack of nicotine. The upside, once the plane lands, I am ready for anything.