Wuv Doesn’t Ask Why. Yes, Wuv.
Posted on November 28, 2011
Yes, wuv. I’m being cute about it because I can. A number of folks were featuring blog posts about what they were thankful for before the holiday, only I wanted to hold off a bit, see how the holiday went, collect my thoughts and then give it a shot. I’m glad I did because having my guy home and spending time with my folks brought some memories and ideas bubbling to the surface. For instance, Ralph and I were talking about what our official song is. Officially, it’s Friends and Lovers by Gloria Loring and Carl Anderson. Given a modern day spin because of how long it’s taken us to tie the knot, I’d say After All These Years by Journey. Unofficially, though, he bought a CD for me shortly after we started going out because of a certain song title. Care to guess by who?
It’s a little bit of a cliché now, only it wasn’t back then. The artist was Celine Dion and the song he wanted me to hear was Love Doesn’t Ask Why. We were questioning quite a bit back then about how we felt, how we were supposed to feel, how we’d hide what we felt for each other from everyone else and why we felt the way we did. His answer was the song and it’s still one of my favorites.
The rain here yesterday brought back the memory of another CD he bought for me just prior to his leaving for Hong Kong for 3 1/2 months that first year, too. One of the things we’d discovered we enjoyed was laying in bed and listening to the rain fall outside. It gave us a sense of peace and a beautiful reason to fall asleep in each others arms. Anyway, he bought a relaxation CD for me set to rain so that anytime I missed him, I could listen to it and think of him next to me. Kinda romantic, isn’t it?
If only he’d remembered them! lol He didn’t and he was somewhat bewildered that I did.
My folks ended up coming over for Thanksgiving dinner. They were originally going to have it at their place, but as with so much in life, things didn’t go quite according to plan and that was fine. They enjoyed the lights, got to see what a 3-D movie looked like on the new TV and didn’t have to worry about cleaning up dishes. But it struck me throughout the evening how much things have changed for my father in a year.
Dad and I used to be able to walk three or four laps around the park or from my place all the down to the water and back. Not anymore. He’s lucky some days if he can make it around Macomb Mall or Lakeside Mall. His attention span definitely isn’t what it used to be, either. And logic? If ever there was an absence of logic, it’s now a black hole. The thing that gets me about him is that in the absence of memories, he’s creating a world around him he exists in where animals, even stuffed animals or pictures, are alive. It’s reverting back to a state of mine we had as children. Things were magic to us then and it’s becoming that to him again now.
I take some comfort in this because at least it’s a happy world. He hasn’t become mean, distrustful or displayed any negativity yet. It may come, but I’m hoping that perhaps he’ll just continue further on into the childlike world and avoid the whole mean stage. Either way, it’ll be interesting to track his progress over the next year, too.
So, much is afoot. Ralph loved the decorations–the tree still isn’t completely finished yet–our shopping is done, gifts can be wrapped, the folks are happy, the Hong Kong Grandmother’s gifts are being sent off today and we’re all looking forward to the next holiday. For these things, I’m grateful. Because who the hell knows if I’ll be in any shape next year to say the same thing…
Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the recently re-published novella Falling Awake, its sequel, Falling Awake II: Revenant and Falling Awake III: Requiem.
One Response to “Wuv Doesn’t Ask Why. Yes, Wuv.”
Dorien Grey says:
November 28, 2011 at 2:04 pm
It’s amazing how words can build such sturdy bridges between very different worlds. Your life is so very different than mine, yet I can identify with it easily. I admire people who have a little door to their souls with a sign saying “Welcome.”