A Year Since I Resigned? WTH???

Posted on June 6, 2013

I found myself in a quandary today. You see, there’s this desk. It’s a huge, heavy desk from the 1940s and it’s sitting in my former father-in-law’s workroom. It needs to come out of there so Painter Guy can paint this weekend and then Carpet Person can perform his function. Sure, Painter Guy can paint, but it’s still going to have to come out of there, only then I’d be risking scuffing the walls. The quandary for me is that I’m not one of those engineer people and I find manual labor absolutely distasteful. Consequently, that desk continues to sit there and stare at me, not moving. Aside from that, though, I realized it’s just about a year now since I resigned from my last job and began my life of servitude as a kept married man.

Honestly, I think I should stick to writing introductory paragraphs. I have a ball with them, then realize I typically have another six hundred and fifty words to write that somehow ties into the subject or subjects I started off with. Swell, another quandary.

So somebody suggested I have Carpet Person move the desk. That’s not likely to happen. Remember when I tried to get him to fix the minor flooring issue when he was working on Phase I? That didn’t go over so well and it was only when I threatened to cancel the install that he came up with a solution. That’s not going to work this time. That same someone also suggested I use a cattle prod to inspire him. Carpet Person is married with children, so a cattle prod’s effectiveness went out the window years ago. I’m just going to have to figure this one by myself…or con someone into doing it for me. I mean…er…ask politely for help.

Moving on.

It was a pretty strange feeling realizing I’ve not been working for a paycheck for almost a year now. I miss some of the guys I worked with and am still stay in touch with them, but what the hell have I been doing with my time? Honestly, it feels a bit like we (you, readers, and me, writer) have been through life and death together. And we have been. Some of you have lost a loved one. I’ve lost a loved one. Some of you have tried to bump off an annoying one. I have a list of people I wouldn’t mind seeing pass into the next life and none of them have been bumped or crossed off yet. We must be getting soft in our old age.

I didn’t get the new book out yet, but I did get the Spacehunters short story out. The crazy thing, at least in my mind, is that while I haven’t exactly advanced myself in the literary realm with another book, I’ve at least become a fairly regular blogger and increased my audience here and there. That’s not all bad, right? Oh, funny thing. I did recently find 8 pages of a story I started typing out at O’Hare airport a couple of years ago. I was sitting there, felt inspired from a dream I’d had the previous night and started to type away. The odd thing, especially for me, is that there’s a rather graphic sex scene in the first bit.

Yes, graphic. And yes, necessary to the story. That’s the thing. If sex doesn’t have to be in a story I’m writing, then I don’t have one just for the sake of having it there. I like a little plot with my porn. Anyway, I dug those pages out a couple of days ago, did some minor editing and then sent it off to the smuttiest person I could think of. I mean…someone who really likes to get down and play in the mud, grime, filth and nasty things most people never see. Someone who has no concept of punctuation, cleanliness, proper hair care and still thinks VHS tapes are “da bomb.” Yes, Patti Logan.

Let’s face it. Patti Logan has always believed that my writing a sex scene would be like Mr. Spock—not Dr. Spock—writing porn. It just doesn’t seem logical. However, it passed muster. What does this mean then? It means that as I force myself back into working on the books that when I need a break, I may visit this story from time to time and see how I can advance it. And when I’m done? We’ll see. It’s an experiment, nothing more. As an experiment, I may publish this one on Amazon and see what happens. G.A. Hauser has been after me to go the self-publishing route for a few years, so maybe I need to dabble a little in that area.

As a short aside, I mentioned my former father-in-law earlier in this post. I’d like to take a moment and say that today, June 6, is his birthday and he would have been 71 years old. Happy Birthday, Mr. W. Hope you’re celebrating at the Heaven location of Outback Steakhouse. Save us some bread.

So, let me close this Thursday edition off by putting this back on you. What have you done, accomplished or experienced in the last year?

Hug noises and wave wind,

Kris

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Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the recently re-published novella Falling Awake, its sequel, Falling Awake II: Revenant and Falling Awake III: Requiem.

16 Responses to “A Year Since I Resigned? WTH???”

Joelle Casteel says:
June 6, 2013 at 8:48 am
you publish some erotica, Kris, and I swear I’ll buy it 😀 as long as my Master has said I can buy books again lmao.

hm a year. congrats on the land mark. I haven’t worked for a regular pay check since 2001, I think. it can sure change one’s perspective on things.

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Kris says:
June 6, 2013 at 1:21 pm
If I publish erotica, there’s a chance I may gain some new readers, but I may risk losing some of my current ones. I must be cautious.

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Patricia Nelson says:
June 6, 2013 at 9:10 am
Hire piano movers. They have a lot of experience moving big things in awkward places

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Kris says:
June 6, 2013 at 1:22 pm
So do I, just not pianos.

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Monique says:
June 6, 2013 at 9:14 am
Left a job that was trying to kill me. Started wringing a story and I have not killed the boyfriend or his mother. So it has been a good year.

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Kris says:
June 6, 2013 at 1:22 pm
Couldn’t get either of them to stay lined up in the cross hairs, eh?

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IDorien says:
June 6, 2013 at 9:42 am
Life has an annoying tendency to move on, whether we’re ready to move with it or not…and the older we get (in point of service), the faster tempus fugits. Tip the desk on its side, onto a throw rug or blanket or whatever, and pull it out of the room so the painter can do his job. Then either wait until you can con or pay someone to help you move it where you intend for it to go. There, now….another problem solved. (No need to thank me…a small donation will be fine.)

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Kris says:
June 6, 2013 at 1:23 pm
I’ve sent the car to pick you up, D. I’ll bring you over and have you demonstrate this idea of yours personally.

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Patricia Logan says:
June 6, 2013 at 11:38 am
Life moves at a rapid pace. It seems such a short time since I quit the day job yet I just passed the 6 year mark since I began writing. I didn’t consider myself an author until the publication date of the first “smut” but that’s been nearly 3 years! I can’t believe it. I’m with Amanda in her advice for you to self publish. You should. That smut you sent me left me all squishy 🙂 🙂 Yeah, I said it. You said EWWWW and I roared with laughter and told you how easy you were… good times… good times…

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Kris says:
June 6, 2013 at 1:24 pm
And people wonder where my sordid reputation comes from. It’s YOU! lol

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Patricia Logan says:
June 6, 2013 at 2:39 pm
Awesome LOL

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JP Adkins says:
June 6, 2013 at 12:18 pm
EWW I totally didn’t want to think of Patti being “squishy”. I think you have always worked hard to do the honorable thing and the desk should do the same and step aside.

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Kris says:
June 6, 2013 at 1:24 pm
Every time I hear the name Patti and the word squshy is used, I think of OutlantaCon all over again.

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LuvWarrior says:
June 6, 2013 at 1:11 pm
You left work to do more than be a stay-at-home hubby. Your mother appreciates it and so does your father. You will cherish the moments more than you can know right now. Believe me, you know my situation. **HUGS**

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Kris says:
June 6, 2013 at 1:26 pm
I will say that half of my nervous ticks have ceased. Every once in a while, though, one comes back and it drives me nuts. Am pretty sure if I was sitting on my delightful bum all day, the hubby would less-than-eloquently suggest I start bringing in an income again.

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Nick Thiwerspoon says:
June 6, 2013 at 8:27 pm
One day, when I sell something which earns enough, I’ll “retire”. Maybe.

But I do enjoy your blog posts!