Into The Lair of the Grandmonster (Day 4)

Posted on January 29, 2009

Commence Recording
Kage’s Vacation Log Date 1/28/09

“Push it. Push it real good!”

It’s funny how one day begins versus how it ends. Wednesday began somewhat peacefully and then not so much at the end. Let me explain.

Breakfast, tea, no Deli France yet, then off to the Post Office, which was still closed. So we ventured into the subway and took it to Time Square, a huge shopping mall with the world’s tallest Christmas tree during the holiday season. But we didn’t go there to see the space the aforementioned tree no longer occupied. That would be a little odd. No. Instead, we went for the almighty food court! Yes, it was nummy time!

Ralph got Thai, Grandma had 10-string-finger soup ala a deceased 25-year-old and I had Vietnamese. It was a sweet and sour pork dish with some dumplings (which Ralph jokes I’m turning into) and soup with cabbage and other goodies in it. Regarding the cabbage, I was too kind. Let’s call it the colon cleaner-outer, hence the song lyrics at the beginning of this blog.

Another highlight of this little lunch contained in the soup was something I thought was a spinach leaf. I stared at it, partook in some conversation, poked it, continued the conversation, prodded it, maintained the conversation and just as I was about to dig it out with my trusty chopsticks, Ralph looks over and says:

“Are you going to eat the fungus?”
Not so surprisingly, I responded with “WHAT fungus?”
“That.” He points to my lying little spinach leaf.
“I was.” I admit. “Until I found out that it’s actually fungus.”
“I’m just surprised you hadn’t eaten it before now.”
“Really? Because I was in such a hurry to tell you ‘Ralph, please stop talking so I can eat the fungus. I have to have the fungus.’”
“So you’re not going to eat it?”
“Ya think?”
He ate the fungus.

Even more surprising, he ate the fungus and I’m the one who ran to the bathroom later on after eating the colon-obliterating cabbage.

Beyond that, we did some shopping around a few CD and DVD stores before coming home with nothing. That’s right, folks. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. This is what our lovely economy has created; fear in buying entertainment. I don’t believe I’ve ever walked out of HMV without buying something. It physically HURTS not to have some little CD or movie I don’t need, paid too much for and will have to copy for my mother-in-law.

But I digress. We did eventually buy one movie, see our friend Jerry and run for the bathroom again after eating spicy shark’s fin soup, but that’s another story…

Recording Ceased

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Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the recently re-published novella Falling Awake, its sequel, Falling Awake II: Revenant and Falling Awake III: Requiem.

2 Responses to “Classic Blog Post: Into The Lair of the Grandmonster (Day 4)”

Dorien says:
June 16, 2012 at 9:04 am
Always enjoy revisiting your adventures. Fungus? Yummy! And come on, face it–what would you do without your Hong Kong Grandmother, you little dumpling, you?

Reply
Jeff says:
June 16, 2012 at 9:23 am
Aww the pet names we give each other…I also have to stay away from cabbage. It isn’t pretty.