Ancient Chinese prophesy foretells of a grand matriarch, a woman so devoted to her grandchildren that any potential suitor who doesn’t meet her expectations and challenges her authority, soon disappears under mysterious and unpleasant circumstances. Her reign of terror is said to last nearly thirty years. Prophesy also foretells of a stranger from the West, […]
Uh, Right Ethnicity, Wrong Person…And Hoping For Closure
So I was at J.C. Penny last night after work where they were holding a pair of dress pants for me. The pair at their sister store the previous night was too short. Naturally, these were too long. But the suit jacket was my favorite, so I figured I could get the pants tailored. One […]
8 Most Frequently Asked Questions For Justin Bieber and Kristoffer Gair
From Hot In Cleveland: Joe Jonas: I’m a little surprised by all the Justin Bieber.” (on Betty White’s Ipod) Betty: Really? I love her!
Kristoffer Gair: Unzipped and Less Than Wholesome!
Psst! Wanna know a secret? When it comes to blogging, I only have an idea for 1 in 3 blog posts that I sit down to write. They’re a crap shoot. No, not that kind. The other kind. The clean kind. My first pass at writing one is usually allowing my mind to upchuck whatever […]
Sheerluck Holmes & The Mystery Of The Amazon Christmas Gifts
It was a chilly evening as I walked up my…well, walkway. It sounds redundant to say since I’m walking and it’s a walkway, but I was and it is…as in it was since this was two days ago. I’ve continued walking since–sometimes even on walkways–only I’m digressing because of you. The point is I’d been […]
The Author Who Makes Little Old Ladies Haul Wrinkled Rear Ends!
You know how there’s always one person who gets blamed for things gone wrong that there’s no damn way they could possibly be responsible for? Aha! I see by the look on your face you do. I am apparently one of those people. How do I know this? Easy. It’s just my lot in life. […]
A Non-Porn Blog Post That Mentions the Word “Porn”!
Talk about life and you get a small, but polite, bit of response from folks. Mention porn like I did in my Monday blog post and your Google Analytics explodes in a traffic orgasm! Maybe it’s just a magic word. Let me try it again…porn. I’ll check analytics tomorrow. In the meantime, my guy and […]
Ah, To Be Mounted By Jordan Young, Brandon Lee & Brent Everett
It may shock some of you to learn this, so prepare yourself. I may, just may, have seen an adult movie…or two…or 200…in my life. I know, bizarre, right? You have no idea how difficult it is at times to convince folks I’m as pure and angelic as I need them to think I am. […]
Boys Just Want To Have Fun
This past weekend with my father was a good one. Well, 50% good and that’s actually better-than-average, so I’m not complaining. We even had a little breakthrough that’s giving me some false hope, but more on that in a bit. I’m also getting a little more geeked about Ralph’s and my upcoming wedding next February. […]
The Bitch Is On A Rant
Some asshole once said–and I’m paraphrasing–that life won’t give you more than you can handle. Does anyone want to guess how long it took before the f***er was stoned to death after he said it? I’m guessing not long. Yes, it’s been that kind of a week and I can only be so much of […]
